It happens all the time, in the horse industry, the corporate world, and even churches.  People don’t agree and there is a division, but this has a ripple effect that trickles on down the line.

I hate change, always have and always will.  It’s very unsettling to all those involved.  Not only in my personal life, but from owners down to horses, when things change nerves are rattled.  With horses, it takes time for them to feel comfortable and secure again.  They stress and sometimes go off their feed.  Ulcers appear and the stress becomes very evident in other aspects of their lives.  Some horses just roll with change, just as some people do, but some don’t.  Some people love change and find it exciting.  My great-grandmother had a saying of “Let It Be.”  I guess it runs in the family.

My clients become friends and part of the family around here.  I don’t think of them as “clients”, so to speak. So last night when one of them called me I sat and listened and tried to calm her fears.  My “friends” have their retired horses with me but have other horses at a show stable with a trainer.

Now I’ve been in the trucking and excavating business for years.  Partnerships do not work.  Someone always wants the last word on the subject.  There needs to be one person who is the “Lead Mare” no questions asked (funny we just spoke about that).  So when the barn owner and the trainer apparently reached an impasse, ties were broken.  This is devastating for all involved.  I know some of my readers have been around this block before and know exactly what I am talking about.

So my friend called me last night stressing because she needed a back up plan and could I help.  I’m an hour away.  Not much help there.  When a trainer moves from a barn, many are faithful and will stay with him or her wherever they may go, but some are forced by economics, location, and time restraints to remain where they are.  This person insists on staying with this trainer, but the trainer has not found a new location yet.  They are down near Tampa.  This is no longer wide open country.  It is becoming desired property for those that work in Tampa and farm land is disappearing into housing developments.  (Boy have I been there before).  These people have teenage daughters who absolutely love their trainer, but are limited by time and distance.  The trainer is looking for a barn where all her clients can come together.  Where she isn’t thrown into driving from barn to barn to give her lessons, she’d like to keep all her chicks in one place.  Tough situation, especially in an area that is few on barns and high on clients.

To add to all of this my friend isn’t familiar with the other barns and she not only worries about her horses, but a safe environment for her daughters.

The current barn is bringing in a male trainer.  My friend is nervous leaving her teenage daughters with a male.  Now I’ve known a lot of male trainers who were wonderful and upright.  But I’ve also known several who will take advantage of young girls.  Especially when they go away to horse shows.  This is not a good and comfortable feeling for any mother.

So my friends question was what do I do if my trainer doesn’t find a place before the month is out?  Do I know any place in the Tampa area that her horses and children would be safe?  Her trainer keeps telling her to be patient.  This I get, but she needs a safe place in less than 30 days.

She lives in a beautiful neighborhood that is not horse friendly.  So bringing them home is not an option.  Buying property, in that location where she could even keep a horse, is also not an option.  Selling her house and moving an hour away would place her husband too far from his work, which he is on call for.

So today I start making calls to help her find a back-up plan until her trainer comes up with a better mouse trap.  Now I have two other boarders who are in the same position, on top of other friends who are at the same barn.  I don’t really want to get involved, but I heard the real concern in this woman’s voice.

I love her trainer and have a good working relationship with her.  Her students are always on top at the horse shows, and they all love her dearly.  I do not want to rock the boat anymore than it already is.  I told her if worse comes to worse she can bring her two horses here until things are settled, but as I already have mentioned, I’m an hour away and these girls are out of school and want to spend time with their horses and their trainer.

I will make phone calls and check out the places she asks me to, but I too will tell her to be patient and trust her trainer, and mostly God.

Upon watching the interaction between one of my boarders and her horse the other day, it really gave me a sense of uneasiness.  With his ears pinned back and teeth gnashing he was trying to control her.  He was trying to direct her in the direction he wanted her to go.  He was telling her what he wanted in the way of grooming and when he wanted his carrots.  I’ve seen pushy horses, but this was unnerving.  And he’s such a gentleman with me.

So all night I was trying to figure out what was going on here.  Her comment was that he was protecting her and wanted to establish her as his person.  Okay, I get that but………

In a herd you have a certain rule of hierarchy.  There is the Stallion, but he is a follower of the Lead Mare.  She tells everyone where to go, when to go, and why.  The Lead Mare is usually born into the position.  This is in a feral herd I’m talking about.  Now in a domestic herd the dynamics are always changing because of horses coming and going at a barn, but a Lead Mare usually keeps her position until the day she dies.  Sure did at my farm.

You’ve probably seen the sign that says “My Barn My Rules” which I’m in full agreement.  Not only with the people who come here, but also with the horses, dogs, and other assortment of creatures that come in and out.  There are always rules, boundaries, and limitations.  I’m the Lead Mare, any questions?

Now I’ve seen many horses who claim their owners, but not aggressively.  Horses know the difference of who feeds them, and they know their owners who love and fuss over them.

What I told this woman is very simple.  You would not allow this behavior in a work situation, or personal relationship.  Don’t allow it here.  It’s not cute and it’s not safe.  He didn’t make contact with his teeth now, but I believe he will if she doesn’t behave herself.  Horses will grab each other to discipline and I believe if she doesn’t respond accordingly, he will take a bite.

I’ve seen horses rule with their teeth and kicks, but once established all they have to do is throw a dirty look and everyone snaps to attention.  All I have to do is go grrrr (actually it’s more like a sharp ehhhh, but I don’t know how to spell that) and everyone’s head comes up and respect is acknowledged.  Just can’t seem to get my ears to flatten on my neck like they do.  I will occasionally take my hands, place them by my ears and wing them backward to get my point across to my mare that I don’t like her attitude.  She looks at me sideways and knows what I mean.

If you can’t beat them, join them.  I’ve been in the horse business way too long.

I feel like I’ve been down this road with someone else before.  I think it was the last TB boarder that came in.

Oh My!