I know I spoke about my neighbors horse that I was using for one of my lessons.  The teenage girl who was his rider grew up and went off to college, and then got married. His best friend was killed last summer, she too was hit by lightning the week before my horses.  Welcome to Florida the Lightening Capital of The World.  Well he enjoyed the little girl coming and fussing over him, but he was a little too much horse for her.  So his weekly trips to my barn, the grooming and carrots stopped once again.  When he would come to my fence I would give him some of whatever I had at the time.  Some hay, some carrots, but I’d always say hello to him.  He grew very fond of my horses which were in the pasture up against his.  He was always a kind friend to whatever horses I had in that pasture.

As the summer progressed he spent more time in different parts of his pasture.  Even though I would always call to him and say Hi!, I stopped going over.  He was busy grazing and his old teenage person moved back with her husband.  I figured he was good.

I saw the flood lights on last night, but figured if they needed me they would call.  I don’t like putting my nose into other people’s business unless invited.  This morning I did get a call.  They were trying to treat him all night for multiple problems internally.  This morning he crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

The guilt came flooding in.  I never got to say goodbye and thank you.  Just one carrot and 10 minutes of my time, once a week, or once a month would not have been too hard to do, but I just kept busy doing the things that had to be done.  Just one carrot, just a kind word or a pat on the neck.  I walked away from him too.  How can they understand why a person stops giving them attention?

Other memories came flooding back.  The first horse I fell in love with.  Oh I couldn’t wait to be a good enough rider to ride this big beautiful black mare.  I finally was, and I loved her.  Then I learned how to jump and had to move on to another horse.  My beautiful Black Diamond didn’t jump.  I would usually go see her and give her a carrot.  Another young girl fell in love with her and she took over the love exchange.  I stopped going into her barn as often as I had.  Once day when I got to the barn her new young friend was standing by the office.  I wanted to speak with the owner and gave the young girl a carrot and told her to go and give it to Diamond for me.  She looked at me and said “she’s dead”.  It was a punch to the stomach.  I never got to say good-bye.  I’d stopped going by to see her as often and now she was gone.

I look at my old dog laying by the barn in the morning.  The young dogs are all happy to see me, jumping all over me so that I can’t even bend over and pat my old friend, at least not until they calm down and get involved in doing something else destructive.  Then I try to give the old girl a belly rub.

Old friends, older relatives, yup you mean to call them.  Perhaps you were going to give them a call on Thanksgiving, but you were too stuffed or tired to do it right then.  Oh I’ll get to it tomorrow, or on the weekend, but did you?  I didn’t.  But I must.  I don’t do guilt well.

It’s just a carrot and ten minutes of your time.  What will you do?