Upon watching the interaction between one of my boarders and her horse the other day, it really gave me a sense of uneasiness.  With his ears pinned back and teeth gnashing he was trying to control her.  He was trying to direct her in the direction he wanted her to go.  He was telling her what he wanted in the way of grooming and when he wanted his carrots.  I’ve seen pushy horses, but this was unnerving.  And he’s such a gentleman with me.

So all night I was trying to figure out what was going on here.  Her comment was that he was protecting her and wanted to establish her as his person.  Okay, I get that but………

In a herd you have a certain rule of hierarchy.  There is the Stallion, but he is a follower of the Lead Mare.  She tells everyone where to go, when to go, and why.  The Lead Mare is usually born into the position.  This is in a feral herd I’m talking about.  Now in a domestic herd the dynamics are always changing because of horses coming and going at a barn, but a Lead Mare usually keeps her position until the day she dies.  Sure did at my farm.

You’ve probably seen the sign that says “My Barn My Rules” which I’m in full agreement.  Not only with the people who come here, but also with the horses, dogs, and other assortment of creatures that come in and out.  There are always rules, boundaries, and limitations.  I’m the Lead Mare, any questions?

Now I’ve seen many horses who claim their owners, but not aggressively.  Horses know the difference of who feeds them, and they know their owners who love and fuss over them.

What I told this woman is very simple.  You would not allow this behavior in a work situation, or personal relationship.  Don’t allow it here.  It’s not cute and it’s not safe.  He didn’t make contact with his teeth now, but I believe he will if she doesn’t behave herself.  Horses will grab each other to discipline and I believe if she doesn’t respond accordingly, he will take a bite.

I’ve seen horses rule with their teeth and kicks, but once established all they have to do is throw a dirty look and everyone snaps to attention.  All I have to do is go grrrr (actually it’s more like a sharp ehhhh, but I don’t know how to spell that) and everyone’s head comes up and respect is acknowledged.  Just can’t seem to get my ears to flatten on my neck like they do.  I will occasionally take my hands, place them by my ears and wing them backward to get my point across to my mare that I don’t like her attitude.  She looks at me sideways and knows what I mean.

If you can’t beat them, join them.  I’ve been in the horse business way too long.

I feel like I’ve been down this road with someone else before.  I think it was the last TB boarder that came in.

Oh My!

If you aren’t familiar with that story in the Bible, I’ll give you the Readers Digest version.

This dude Balaam would either put blessings on, or curse people, whatever was most profitable for him.  The king of Moab wanted Balaam to go and curse the people of Israel and was willing to pay him big time.  So Balaam saddled up his donkey and went down the road to do the job.  God told him not to do this.  He didn’t listen, so God sent the angel of the Lord to stand in the road to block his way.  The donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand.  The donkey bolted off the road into a field, but Balaam beat it and turned it back onto the road.  This continues a little and the donkey just laid down.  In a fit of rage Balaam beat the donkey with his staff.  Then God gave the donkey a human voice.  The donkey questioned Balaam as to why he had beaten him three times.  Balaam told him if he had a sword he would have killed him.  And the conversation goes on until the angel of the Lord confronts Balaam.

So this one old horse that I’ve had here for years, and has been a perfect gentleman, starts to balk when walking up the isle way between two pastures to the barn.  Stopping, snorting and flying backwards.  This has been getting progressively worse over the last several weeks.  I figured that he was getting cataracts, because of his age, and didn’t think too much about it.  Just made adjustments to my leading him.  Then the other afternoon when I was trying to get him up to the barn before a storm, he froze.  I looked at him and said “what is your deal?  Are you Balaams donkey and is there an angel from the Lord in your path?  What!!?”  It started to pour and lightening was hitting at this point.  He ran back to the pasture and I ran back to the barn and watched him race around the pasture.  I felt bad and went back down and I got him into the barn.  It didn’t matter if I walked him with another horse or not.  I have been walking him with another horse, on and off, over the years.  So for the last week I’ve been taking him out through the gate and letting him walk up by himself.  Of course I would have to encourage him to go to the barn instead of turning himself around and running back to the pasture.  Over the course of the week he started to calm down.

I’m now walking him down with or without another horse.  He’s back to being the old horse I knew.  He probably has cataracts, but why the sudden panic he was facing?  What changed in his eyes that he is now normal again?

The next time Myra comes I may remember to ask her about him, or I may forget.  It’s just so odd.  He wasn’t looking at one particular thing, just around and snorting.  Was there something in the air?  A sound that he heard and I didn’t?  Or perhaps the angel of the Lord standing there in the isle way.  Got me by the wahoo.

My new boarder is laying-up her six-year-old Thoroughbred until we find out what is causing his issues.  Now you know that none of us can go very long without a rideable horse so she’s horse shopping.  She bought her current horse off the track three years ago and has been trying to fix him ever since.  This is her baby and she loves him dearly.  She’s brought him along in his training since the beginning.  He’s her dream horse, but…..  So now her quest was to by-pass all the years of training and just go for a “ready to go” show horse.

She’s tried a young green mare that she is falling in love with.  But that’s not what she wanted.  She didn’t want to start from scratch again.  She’s ready to hit the big time, but the horse isn’t.  What should she do?

Okay, the Libra in me goes to the scales.  Weighing the positive reasons against the negative reasons.

So I told her my story.  I was there at one time.  My black mare was done.  Her stifles were shot.  It was time for her to surrender her position, retire, and live out her life as a lawn ornament. I was a Whipper-In and needed a finished horse to take her place.  All our horses were getting long in the tooth, and their bodies were starting to show the signs of too many years of hard hunting.  Other than my black mare and a dark bay gelding, I had always raised my horses from babies.  Both those horses were fabulous hunt horses, but they came with issues.  The gelding was a barrel horse who wouldn’t go through gates for three years without rearing.  The mare just used to dump people when she was done and go home.  She was an Alfa mare to the end.

When you raise a baby and start their training from the beginning you have a horse that knows you and what you are asking.  They are agreeable and will give you the moon and the stair to please you.  There has been no abuse, or holes in their training.  Your hand print is all over them and they are what you have always dreamed of.  Well most of the time.

So I spoke with this young woman about the pros and cons of buying a green horse as opposed to a finished horse, thus my title Made or Home Made.  Yes you can ride off into a show ring in higher divisions immediately.  But let’s think about the sense of accomplishment you have with your old horse.  He is a product of your time and love.

Before I replaced my black mare I was borrowing horses to hunt.  I couldn’t believe all the people who loaned me horses.  Whipping is hard on a horse, but the owners wanted their horses to experience the schooling that went along with the job.  However, I realized that I didn’t want someone elses mistakes.  I needed a horse that was ready to go, but ready to go with the schooling I was used to.

The bottom line of my story is that I bought another baby and trained her the way I wanted.  I kept Magic on her feet for four more years.  What this woman’s decision will be, I have no idea.

It’s a matter of preference, time, and money.  What matters most to you.  All I could tell her is that if you have peace in your heart about your decision, it’s the right one.  Time will tell.

Down here we are in full-blown Spring, but my friends up north are getting hit again.  It’s not bad enough that they have had four nor-easterns, but now some of them are getting hit with something called Wilbur.

My first husband used to wake me on April Fools Day with “it snowed last night,” which would make me leap out of bed in a panic.  This year it wouldn’t have been a joke.

We on the other hand need rain desperately.  There are 1100 wild fires burning right now in the state of Florida.  Not by us, but this morning on the news they were telling people how to protect their homes.  We have two deep wells, and golf course type sprinklers all around the property, so we’re in pretty good shape if one should come our way.  But look at all the poor people who lost their homes in California.  Weather is just kind of crazy.

With all that said, what do horse people do when winter won’t quit?  Beside slit their wrists.  My suggestion is learn.  There are so many different ways to learn about different disciplines now-a-days.  You can watch top trainers on TV, get videos, go on-line, and of course the “old-fashioned” way of reading books.  No matter how much you think you may know, there is always something new to be learned.  You may have read something a million times, but when you do it one more time, you may find a nugget of something that didn’t register the times before.

If you think you’ve heard it all, go to a different discipline, and see what comes up.  You may see the same old thing described or taught in a different way.  The light bulb moment may appear.  I love those a ha! moments.  I learned a lot of good training tips through other disciplines.

There is just so much out there, and it appears, so much bad weather left.  It will serve you well to explore different ideas.

Now you must prepare for the next season of “mud.”  You know the shoe pulling, boot sucking off mud.  But be encouraged, the days of heat and bugs will jump out at you real quick.  I don’t think there will be a spring folks, you’re going from snow right into summer.  Kind of like Florida without the snow.  Below freezing at night and boom! sunny and 80 the next day.  Makes you crazy.

Sorry, I don’t control the weather, and the meteorologists just don’t seem to get it right either, at least down here they don’t.

Have faith, it can only get better.  Soon.  Real soon.  I promise, I just don’t know exactly when.

I’m sure you’ve all seen that sticker on someones car.  I think every child has gotten one of them for their self-esteem if not for their performance.

Why don’t we have them for our horses?   We’ve all had that special horse who has accomplished something extraordinary in their lives.  They may not be on the Olympic Team, but they’ve gone above and beyond anything we could have ever imagined.

As instructors there have been students who have amazed us.  I have two.  One is a young lady and one is a horse.  So I want to put my sticker on my post to recognize the wondrous things they have done.

My girl Hannah F.  (see my Pictures) –  She came to me younger than my other students, but with the enthusiasm that I love.  It did not come easy to her, but she had a good sense of humor and tried.  Needed to believe in herself more.  Progressed slowly, but she enjoyed every minute of it, and wasn’t looking to break any world records, just ride and play with the horses.  She’s the one that used to slide down Dawns neck.  The family moved to Tallahassee four years ago so I tried to get her in with a good instructor up there.  She is now winning Championships all over North Florida and Georgia.  They bought a young, green, warmblood, who she fell in love with.  The instructor didn’t think it would work, but they became a team that won’t quit.  She has gotten her confidence and rides beyond anything I could have imagined for her.  I am truly proud of her and her accomplishments.  She goes off to college next year and I would love to see her continue her winning streak.

The Horse that I am proud of is Tigger (the TB that just left).  He has not reached his goal yet, but non-the-less is on the road to be a horse, that came from my barn and instruction, that I am extremely proud of.  If you remember he was a rescue horse.  His owner had physical limitations and that’s why she decided to sell him.  During the six months he was here, I had her work on ground training, suppleness, and moving off her leg.  It was all slow but necessary for whatever he was to do in his life.  It gave her something quiet to work on and good for his brain.  He always had a good brain.  He would stand by the pond and watch my neighbor set off beautiful fireworks.  He was curious but not afraid.  It did not matter that the hounds were playing under his belly or that the Jack Russell would help him eat his breakfast.  Well the good new is, that because of his brain and schooling, he is going to be “Officer Tigger” over in the Palm Beach area, where he will finish his training.

My other girls are going on to be successful in their chosen profession. Diana, Hannah C., and Lexy are already in college for several years now, with Hannah F. and Emily C. entering this fall.  Beautiful, intellagent young horsewomen, who I couldn’t be more proud of if they were my own.

What they learned here, with regards to caring for Gods creation in love, will make them citizens to be admired.  I think I would have so many bumper stickers on my car you wouldn’t find my license plate.

Wouldn’t you like a bumper sticker too for one of yours?

I was looking through a magazine and there was a Tee Shirt that said “She Believed She Could, So She Did.”

Believe has been my word for the last year.  A year ago when Fri tore her tendon, the vet said she was done.  I told her no she wasn’t, that I believed she would be okay.  I will never jump her again, but I’m okay with that.  That leg is fine now, but she hurt her good leg protecting her bad one, so now I’m waiting on that leg.  Certainly not as serious a problem.

We believe a lot of things, some that are not true.  We have to be careful as to who and what we will believe.

The first horse I fell in love with, was a prime example.  The first year when I was taking lessons there was this big black mare named Black Diamond.  It was love at first sight.  I spoke to my instructor about riding her and I was told she was not a beginners horse.  So I patiently took my lessons dreaming that someday I would ride this mare.  Six months later my dream had come through.  Looking back I don’t remember her being that hard to ride.  She was a doll.  I rode that horse every chance I got.  Riding her in a show and getting first place sealed the deal, I was in love.  But then it came time for me to start jumping and I was told she didn’t jump, that I had to ride other horses.  So I did, but still every chance I got, I rode Diamond.  I had ridden her up to the stone wall many times dreaming that I would be going over that wall with Diamond.  I believed she would do it for me.  Back then I didn’t ask why she couldn’t jump, I just listened to what the owner said.

I don’t know if I read it in a book, or my instructor told me, but I never forgot “Throw your heart over first, and you can jump anything.”  So one day when we were all running around having a great time, everyone was heading toward the wall.  I was caught up in the moment and when they all jumped the wall, so did Diamond and I.  I was in heaven.  Of course upon landing, I thought about what I had just done.  Someone turned around and asked if I had jumped it and of course I said yes.  When I told my instructor about it she was a little upset.  She couldn’t believe it, but she said we both could have gotten hurt.  But we didn’t, I Believed, I threw my heart over first.

Many times through the years I have done things because I believed we could.  Ravines played into a lot of the things that I did.  I look back now and think that somethings that I believed in bordered on insanity.  Walking across a ravine on two planks that was about a foot wide total, several times, that wasn’t too bright, but I had to get to the other side to stop hounds and that was the fastest way to get there.  Riding through a ditch, that the sides and the tree that was down over it, was up to my horse’s neck, but we jumped it, several times to lead another horse (who had more smarts) over it.

It’s like the movie Spirit.  Spirit believed he could fly and that he could jump the canyon, and he did.  The Indian boy was not so sure, but either way they were going to die so he took the chance.  Of course that was just a movie, not real life.

When you believe you lose the fear.  Is that a good thing?  I’m not sure, but it sure felt awesome.

Everyday when I go out to the barn I tell Zoey we are going to ride tomorrow.  We haven’t yet, but I “Believe” we will.  I also believe I will get caught-up on all the other things that I need to do, so I can ride.  It’s getting to the point that I’m just going to ride, the other stuff has to wait.  I’m no good to anyone when I don’t ride.

I believe others have had similar experiences, in which they believed they could do something that no one else believed they could do.  The love, trust connection between horse and rider can help us do amazing things.  If it’s not there you have nothing.

Do you believe?  Does your horse trust you that much?  Don’t try it if the magic isn’t there.  Oops translates into a ride to the hospital.

If there is an art, I haven’t found it yet.

A dear friend has been having “episodes,” as the doctors refer to it.  He seems to become unconscious. His blood pressure drops too low, and has a few other symptoms which I won’t go into.  When he comes out of it, everything is normal.  The funny thing is it always happens around lunch time.  They thought of low blood sugar, but no it wasn’t anything to do with that.  They considered the time since he took his morning meds.  No, that wasn’t it.  He has been going through months of tests, at many different hospitals, but as to finding out what is causing this, they have no idea.

What happened to the old days where doctors knew their patients.  They knew their families, their lives, their individual problems, what they ate, where they worked, and what they did for fun.  Now the doctors depend on machines to tell them what is going on in a person’s body.  They don’t even ask the patient or the families questions to try to figure out what is the cause.  If the various tests don’t show anything, they don’t have a clue.

We, with horses, know that watching them is our best indication.  They can’t tell us, so we become “Super Sleuth”.  A friend from church, not a horse person, asked how we know what is wrong?  I told him, they tell us if we listen.  Body language, the typical – temperature, gum color, heart rate, respiration, swelling, pain, are our techniques.  Of course we do resort to x-rays, and ultrasounds too, but initially it’s our eyes, ears, nose (thrush, infection), and observation.

We’ve become so technological that we have lost common sense.  Could it be the 80 pills this man is on.  One pill counter-acting another pill that is correcting something caused by another pill?  At least we don’t do that to our horses.

Evaluating takes time and patience.  That is something our medical associates don’t have anymore.  You more or less become a number, not person.  You have to fit within the list of symptoms, or the doctors are lost.  You have only this much time allotted for them to figure it out, or they throw you out of the hospital and move on to the next case.

We are so blessed that we do not treat our horses like that.  Although sometimes I am not sure.

We evaluate what the horse needs in the way of nourishment, in the way his feet are shod or trimmed, in the fitting of his tack, and what tack is necessary and what tack is overkill.

When purchasing a horse we evaluate if this is the right horse for a person or the right person for the horse, his conformation, his attitude, and his athletic ability for the particular job we have in mind.

As teachers and trainers we evaluate what techniques will work best for our current problem or need.  This should not be a rushed decision, a lot hangs on your approach and conclusion.  With a quick thought you may make or break a horse.  You may cause success or injury to a rider.  It is so important to take all things into consideration before making a move.  It doesn’t always come down to an oops let’s try again.  Sometimes in life there are no “do overs.”

When evaluating anything important, take your time, look at all the facts and consequences of your upcoming actions.  Gain all the wisdom on the subject that you can, and go from there.

Let’s keep the art of evaluation alive, at least where we can.

I can say things over and over again, but they still need to be remembered over and over again.

When working with a horse on a new thing, whatever it might be, take it slow and if it doesn’t progress, go back to the beginning or where it did work, and start again.

With this world of instant we want everything “Now!”  Instant Oatmeal, instant communication, instant answers, instant replies.  Horses have not joined this realm of instant, except of course when it comes to their meals.  When they see you coming to the barn at feeding time, they don’t want to wait their turn, they want it now.  Kind of sounds like Bob.  Six o’clock, is dinner ready?

But with training, we’d like to wake up one morning and our horse will be fully trained.  I’m kind of like that with house cleaning.  I want to wake up in the morning and the good fairies would have been there and my house would be sparkling clean.  When my grandchildren were little they would come running to me in the morning while I was still in bed.  They would tell me that the good fairies never showed up and things looked like they did the night before.  Guess we’re cleaning today.  When Linda was about four years old, she would come into my house, run to the cabinet under the kitchen sink, get the bottle of Windex and head for the sliding glass door.  There were always dog nose prints to be removed.  She was at the right height.  Wonder what kind of house keeper she turned into?  She never stays in one place long enough to check it out.

So while attempting to find out how my friends TB felt about jumping, what I did find out is that he doesn’t understand or want to try to learn.  He’s over sixteen hands with long legs.  He’s chicken, and if he stubs his toe, he carries that leg in the air for way too long.  Sissy.  It was only six inches.

So it’s back to square one.  Ground poles, time, and patience.

Inch by inch, step by step.  I just hope I live long enough to see him accomplish this death-defying feat.

I remember that show from when I was a kid.  How family dynamics have changed since then.  I’m not going into that because that will open a whole can of worms.

We have knowledgeable horse people and we have horse owners.  That’s not saying that horse owners are not knowledgeable, but it is saying that professional horsemen/women aren’t always right.  Let’s look at that for a moment.

You have professional horsemen/women who are very knowledgeable in their fields.  They have more years of experience than you have lived.  When we deal with them we believe that they will make the right decisions.

Then we have the horse owner.  Now this person may not have the years of experience, but if they have half a brain, they know their horse.  They understand their horse and their horse understands them.  Now I’m not saying that every horse owner has a corner on the market of how to handle a given situation, but they usually know how their horse is going to react.

They may not have the bag of tools needed or the aggressive behavior to give their horses confidence to move forward on an issue, but they have the clues to right a situation.

Now I will give a professional the benefit of the doubt when going to do something with one of my horses, but I’m not a stupid person, and I do know my horses.  I’m not asking them to submit to my way of doing things, but I do expect them to check with me as to what will work with a particular horse.

My one mare was balking about getting into a Equine Dentists trailer.  Nothing bad, just hesitating and moving from side to side.  She’s usually an easy loader.  She was concerned about what was going on.  Why were these strong-willed men trying to make her go into a trailer with all this stuff in it?  Were they going to take her away from her home?  Why were all the other horses running around in their pastures?  All this was making her hesitate.  I had my other horse in my hand and said I will put her in the round pen and come and lead my mare into the trailer.  While I was walking away, the one man took a crop to her butt.  She got in, but at what cost?

Now I know this mare, and she will remember.  I also know she will get even.

I didn’t understand why they had to be macho and do it their way when if I just spoke quietly to her, assured her that it was okay, and asked her to follow me in, she would have done it.  Maybe not quickly, but cautiously, with no added stress.  As it was she was tranquilized, then again when she balked, but by the time we got her into the trailer she had chicken eyes, and I told them that if they wanted to work on her they better hit her again.  There was no softness to her eyes, only fear.

I don’t care how much you think a professional knows.  I can only hope that their ego will let them check with the owner and get clues to what the owner may know about their own horse.

I will mention this to these two gentlemen, about my feelings on what took place.  I did not go into it at that time because I would have reacted out of anger and disappointment.  I know that they are on a time schedule and they can’t play games, but give the horse a chance to have a good experience so that next time there won’t be a hesitation or a fight.  Use this as a good learning experience for the horse.

I spent a lot of time talking to them.  They were indirectly testing me on my knowledge and how strong and determined I felt on various subjects.  I listened to their views, and expressed and backed up mine with facts.  Dug my heels in and stood my ground.

Thinking back afterwards, this mare had been done in a dental trailer before.  Perhaps it was a previous experience that made her react the way she did to them.

******

I have contacted the dentist who did apologize for his assistants actions.  The gentleman was just filling in for a new assistant who will be joining the group in a week.  He assured me that it would not happen again.  I mentioned to him that whenever we have contact with a horse we are either teaching or reinforcing something good, or something bad.  But then you’ve heard me say all this before.

I’m a Libra, you know, the scales.  So it seems every situation in my life I weigh.  I used to make lists with the good on one side and the bad on the other.  Reasons to do things and reasons not to.  (Should that be two oo’s?)  English was not my strong point in school.  Neither was Math, History, Science…… you get the picture.

So my friend with the Thoroughbred, who was having another love/hate day, was at it again last week.  I’ve mentioned he’s a real sweet boy, but still a young TB.  He was spending a lot of time doing airs above ground, cracking his back, and doing hand stands.  It was one of those feel good days.  Now she has been working with him, and when he’s focused he does pay attention and retain.  But it was one of those cool, brisk, kick you heels up, windy kind of days.  I noticed he was on the muscle when I moved him and his friend to another pasture.  I thought, “okay, you’re a horse that is happy and healthy now, have a nice day, and walked away.”

However, ten minutes later his owner shows up expecting the quiet well-behaved horse she left here the day before.  Not!!!  By the time I got back to the barn from the pasture, she had him outside cross tied on the wash rack.  He was prancing and dancing around, it was like he was standing on burning coals.  I told her to bring him in the barn.  She told me that’s where she started, but he was doing the same thing so she thought she would bring him outside so he could see things.  He wasn’t seeing anything, he was inside his head, and his brain was like the flashing lights of a pinball machine.  She tried her normal calming sounds and touches.
At this point he’s spinning around on cross ties.  She tried a stud chain to get his attention.  I told her to cut her losses and turn him back out, she wasn’t going to ride him today, not on my watch.

At that point she was still trying to get his attention to walk him outside.  He wasn’t even interested that I was walking his best friend right there with him.  He was just getting more agitated.  So I was done watching this nonsense.  I told her to give him to me and I walked them both back out to the pasture and turned him loose.  He did just what I thought.  He spun and bucked and took off across the pasture.  She panicked because she saw that kick come too close to me.  I knew he was going to do that, he knew exactly where he was and I was, and never extended his legs.  I did back away in preparation.   At that point I told her that it’s not that she did anything wrong and I did something right, it was a matter of the familiar routine.  A matter of the difference of her energy and mine.

So today we sat and talked.  Today she’s into selling him again.  “He’s not the quiet trail horse I wanted.  I thought I could turn him around.”  Sometimes that works, and sometimes it doesn’t.  We get back to “natured vs nurtured.”  Who he was at birth and what life has done to him.  So I told her she had to weigh all the good thing she likes about him and then the bad things she doesn’t like.  I asked her what she was willing to give up?  Would circles in a ring be alright or is trail riding what she really wants.  She needed to see which out weighs the other.  I know she loves the horse.  She saved him, fixed him, and wants the best for him.  Then I told her there was a compromise.  She could keep him, get the horse she pictured in her mind, and bring them both home so she wasn’t paying double board.  I told her she had to go home and think about what matters most.

Now I know he’d make a fantastic hunt horse.  He’s brave, got a brain, when he doesn’t misplace it, and he’s great with dogs running around his legs.  His problem is he needs a job, and she isn’t physically capable of giving him what he needs.  According to Bob “a good long run full-out.”  But then that’s what Bobby and Toy always needed.

I’m glad it’s her decision.  He’s a sweet boy and I don’t want him to end up in a bad home again.   I’ll miss him, but he needs a life.  She saved him, we fed him, adjusted every bone in his body, got his feet in good condition, and showed him there were people who would take care of his needs.

So now I wait for an answer.  Does he stay?  Or does he go?  It’s up to her.  I mentioned, when she got him, he was not the right horse for her.  With her physical problems she cannot do for him what he needs.  No matter how many times I’ve tried, you just can’t fit a square peg in a round hole, or teach pigs to sing.  It just wastes your time and annoys the pigs.

It’s like a Carousel.  You just keep going around in circles, but at some point you have to jump off.