I just looked up the correct wording of the infamous quote by Franklin D. Roosevelt, now that was an Inaugural Address on March 4, 1933. I’m long in the tooth, but that was still before my time. You may have heard “Long In The Tooth” but never thought about the fact that it came from horse trading. The seller would say he’s a five-year old and the buyer (beware) would look in the horse’s mouth and say “he’s long in the tooth for a five-year old.” Well anyway back to my subject.
When posting an appointment on my refrigerator this morning, I glanced at a “post it” I had put there some time ago which read “Fear is the single most dangerous and destructive force in a relationship with a horse. Eradicate fear and you begin to develop trust.” Don’t remember who said it, or where I copied it from, but it struck me then, as it strikes me now. How true that statement is, how paralyzing fear can be in any situation, but when you add a horse to the mix it’s down right dangerous.
Finding the root cause of a particular fear is not always an easy process. I am not educated in the workings of the mind, conscience or unconscientious, but over the years I have worked with many people to help them move past their fears and learn to enjoy riding again.
Okay, we’ve all seen a friend walk up to our horse with a carrot in their hand terrified that after the horse is done with the carrot their hand will also be missing. They reach out ready to pull back at any moment. Our patient horse reaches for the, all of a sudden missing carrot. The other extreme is the rider who has had a bad fall, but wants desperately to get back to riding again. They sit on the horse like it’s going to explode any minute.
I have a terrible fear of water. I can finally put my face under the shower. But I sink like a rock, and have failed the YMCA swimming course twice. With that said I have been boating for over 40 years. No I do not wear a life vest. To an outsider I look confident as I handle the lines and jump from the deck to the dock without fear. People ask me how I do that when they find out I can’t swim, float, or tread water? I tell them it’s simple, I don’t plan on falling in.
So how does this relate to fear and our horses. Well I don’t plan on falling, but it is a reality. I used to have the habit of falling off once a year when I was hunting. If you don’t fall off and find out that you’re still okay, you build the fear up in your mind and begin to believe that it’s really going to mess you up. And when I fall it’s usually because I’ve done something really stupid.
Case in point. On my sixtieth birthday I got on my horse and said “I’m 60 now and I can’t fall off, I’ll get really hurt.” Well as I was walking around the pasture to stretch Zoey out I decided to turn the water on for the irrigation system. I hung off her right side as far as I could go, but still couldn’t reach it. So I hung down just a little more, put my heel in her side and she said “Oh I know this, you step over to the left!” She did and I hit the ground. She stood there and looked at me with those eyes that say “Oh my, people are so stupid.” I laid on the ground hysterically laughing, hoping that no one was watching. Picked myself up, got back on my horse, and said to Zoey “Okay, I’m 60 today, I just hit the ground, and nothing has changed from yesterday when I was 59, I’m still stupid, lets ride.
Fear is our worst enemy when we are with our horses. They pick up on it. They will either become fearful themselves, because they believe you are supposed to take care of them and you’re scared, or they are going to take full advantage of you.
First thing you have to do is figure out what you are afraid of. What is the worse thing that can happen? How did you get this fear? You have to be upfront with yourself. Then you go back to square one and start again until you get comfortable. Take one step at a time. Yes you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone to progress, but don’t rush the process. Are you and your horse incompatible? Or just temporarily not the right fit to work through your fear? Perhaps you need a trained instructor to help you work through your fear, to give you encouragement and support. Perhaps you need a confident horse to help you rebuild your confidence. If that’s the case, see if your instructor or a friend can loan you one for a short time.
As we get longer in the tooth, we realize the responsibilities we have. We acknowledge that if we do get hurt that many things like, our job or families will suffer. Not to mention, who’s going to take care of the animals. We may have to rethink our riding goals, or the horse that we are riding, but the one thing I do know is that we have to eliminate our fear. It will keep us from being who we are, and doing what we really want to do. Oh I’m not saying we need to throw caution to the wind and seize the moment. What I’m saying is that we have to put everything in its proper perspective, and work to make the necessary changes.
Fear is paralyzing, don’t let fear rob you of true enjoyment. You can overcome it. There really isn’t anything to fear but fear itself. Don’t give fear the power over your life.